I have always loved to draw my own portrait. It is very intimate. I am alone in a space with soft music and a strong light source, and in this space, I can wonder about anything. Why I am here? Why I was born in this body? Why is this my image? Why do I have the parents and siblings that I have? Why is my life made up of these particular experiences? Why do I meet the people I do – or better yet – how? Why do I feel the way I do around another individual? And how is that response different from just being?
When drawing myself, I am accompanied by very soft mystical music. I examine my current feelings and emotions. My physical body is mostly still. Time stands still. When I am making or figuring a portrait of myself, I am confronting some sliver of truth that allows me to take control of a moment in which to just be me – who I am – just how I am. The individual portraits are not drawn with exactly the same proportions. Every hairstyle is always slightly different; earrings and clothes differ. The way the layered values are applied is different every time. This body of work offers a physical representation of how I have evolved in appearance – if I evolve in appearance. My physical, corporeal self is a metaphor for my mental self, my emotional self, my dream self, my psyche, my complete being. Physical shifts across the series of drawings indicate that other shifts are happening. Like all humans, I am forever undergoing a total transformation.
graphite and fiber on paper 24'' by 18''